I have been reading. I have been reading since spring. Reading and really witnessing to some beautiful truths about the use of Natural Family Planning.
I think my story of coming to use natural forms of contraceptive instead of artificial forms is missing a key point, in that...it is all still planning. I am waking up to a planning and limiting culture in many Catholic circles. I may have helped this culture in part by being so proud that I went from artificial to natural forms of contraception.
And we are all so comfortable.
|Mary, Star of the Sea cookies for the Feast of the Assumption|
I have to be very gentle with myself as I come off the NFP mountain. I am only even confessing these things to my readers because I would truly be sorry if any of my posts were misleading about the true purpose of NFP...and that is...it should be used as the exception not the norm.
Is it hard for you to read that?
It is for me, and that is why I am pulling down all of my Natural Family Planning posts as of today. I am just pulling them down, not completely deleting. I want to read through them over the next few months, years even, to make sure the tone is always generous in supporting a marriage open to life.
I can be confident in saying I have always written the journey as just: how my family of five little ones came to be.
I don't know if it was more to help others in my same spot of coming off the pill or if it was to just help me work things out.
Well...It is so painfully clear to me that I have much more praying to do, much more to ponder when it comes to what Justin and I are saying yes to in our marriage. I feel my posts are a bit inadequate to address what we should all truly be proclaiming....and that is...TRUSTING in HIS PLAN.
I don't KNOW what that looks like for my life, for my marriage. And believe me when I say this is about ME and MY WORK, you know your own places between you, your spouse and God.
I have such peace about this. I really do trust that I will have much more clarity over time. I will continue to write because it is really how I connect and as I have said before it helps ME so much! We are just going to take a LONG PAUSE, a LONG MOMENT in any NFP related posts.
Pray for me.