This is all possible as dance,
sewing classes, choir, testing for school...it is all coming to an end. A perfect end for the summer...
I am not doing any school for the children this summer, just reading...as we have a hands on course of "how to care for a new sister" to look forward to.
Yes, so let me tell you of some of our happenings this past weekend.
The first year we moved to Williamsburg, we befriended a very outgoing, fun loving seminarian from the Diocese of Richmond who was serving his pastoral year at our parish. Seminarians during their formation to the priesthood are assigned within the diocese to different parishes...I didn't know these things before I met Deacon Nick! Look now you know too!
That's right! He is Deacon Nick now and our family was blessed to share in his Deaconite Ordination this past weekend.
Sooooooo...I am very pregnant, actually, my sister in law (who happens to be my nurse midwife) almost texted me a few days ago to wish me a "happy term day" as in...I am now 37 weeks and really baby can come when she wants. So knowing I would be very pregnant when Deacon Nick first reached out to us about this weekend, which took place an hour away in Richmond, I was unsure about if it would be "too much" physically with driving and some later nights, etc.
Oh goodness, I will tell you...go to as many ordinations as you can. Say yes. Be inspired. Make it happen. It was something so perfect for an expecting mother to do.
And here is why...
I am wanting my yes to be a total yes.
Just as I witnessed three seminarians put on a new life, I am literally dying to an old life and putting on a new one with this baby girl.
I know...I know...I mean, I am still a mother...but I am saying, everyday with this swollen belly of mine, I am getting closer to meeting her and holding her and saying yes to the vocation of being THIS BABY GIRLS MAMA. HER MOTHER.
Does this make sense? Let me explain by reflecting on a current relationship of mine, one I am now navigating with an almost twelve year old. I see so much how she needs me to say "yes" to being her Ma today even more so then when I held her in my arms when I was just twenty three years old. I can't be her everything, Jesus Christ is her everything and I pray she knows this deeply, but I do want to nurture her as I am called to do as only "I" her mother can do. This challenges me.
|From one of my baby showers!|
And still...while I try my best to say YES to her, I then feel a pat on my belly and see the twinkling brown eyes of this one...can I be the mom I need to be to this one too????
I have been meditating much on how God's ways are not our ways. The world has told me time and time again, in well meaning comments I'm sure, about "how are you going to do it all?" or "Better you than me!" or "Mine drive me nuts and I only have two."
I think its that I don't have the answers of how I am going to manage six. But if God's ways are not our ways...I have to TRUST Him that He will make sure the children He brought to this family have their needs met. Their deep heart needs.
It is when you die to the former life and put on a new one that the paradox of GIFT unfolds. You step into more fullness. It is a big work in TRUST.
He makes all things new.
So when we went to the Ordination that truth was made known to us...
This baby girl is making me new! And pregnancy seems long...and labor is painful....and for me fast...but then I am made NEW!
Our Lord truly is Something in the way He goes about things.
I am laughing as I read over this...look Stephanie made the Ordination about her...ha!... but really, it was something powerful to behold and it made me quite confident to trust in God's generosity, to simply hand this over to Him.
I want to mention too there was a beautiful sharing of the Fraternal Kiss between all the deacons and the newly ordained, it was more of a welcoming hug from each of them. And as they hugged, I couldn't help but be very aware that this group of men, they were sharing a bond I don't have with them. A Band of Brothers type bond...that I am not privy to be part of, nor will ever be part of. And yet, I have my very own type of bond within the walls of this home, and we are about to welcome one more person into our people.
I get beautiful compliments that she is a lucky little girl to be part of our family, but truly it is WE who feel blessed, even as she waits in the womb, WE have been blessed by her.
I am absolutely positive this is how the religious view Deacon Nick's new life in the Church. They are blessed to have him! We all are!
Pray for Deacon Nick! Pray for me! God Bless